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Writer's pictureS. Sapphyre Maree

Past Mistakes

Updated: May 21, 2018

I am haunted by foul words I said

Actions I’ve taken against

People that I loved.

I am shaken

By regrets

I am torn

I’m a mess

Words cannot describe my unhappiness.

My former self is chasing me with the devil by their side

Sucking my truer self into a void of anguish and desperation

They do not allow me to move on.

To forgive myself.

To apologize to those, I hurt.

I keep running, screaming in terror

I cannot escape.

That is that.

You have done what you’ve done and you can’t take it back.

You hurt someone

You hurt yourself

You regret what you said

What you did

You can’t make things right again.

But that’s the thing

You’re not supposed to.

Life isn’t supposed to

“Stay right”

You commit destructive actions

You learn, you grow

You become better.

I am not the person I was ten years ago, three years ago, or even yesterday.

You aren’t either.

The things you did, they do not define you now. They won’t define you tomorrow or ever again.

These disdainful past occurrences created who you are today.

That person is okay.

You are okay. I am okay.

We are better for it.

I struggle to rise from the depths of my hell and fight my demons

As you do

But one thing is this

I am not my past.

Do not bring up my past as if that is who I am in the present.

Do not threaten me with my mistakes and poor decisions and bad habits.

Do not do this because I could do the same to you

But I won’t.

This isn’t a competition to see who has the most perfect history.

The universe allows us to evolve. To become better every day, we live. So that is what I strive to do.

You can’t let anyone hold your failures against you if you accept them yourself.

I embrace every aspect of my being from the moment I was born to this very second.

I embrace every aspect of my being from the moment I was born to this very second.


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